74% of Evangelical Conservatives Think Bipartisanship is a “Gay Thing” That the Bible Forbids

nemesis06feargodprotester

Worst Mardi Gras Ever

Researchers for Wayne State University in Detroit studying the increase in partisan politics set out to learn why the nation’s politicians have seemingly been so divided in recent years and their results are breaking the internet (don’t worry, we just put that in there to get clicks, we don’t mean it literally (the old, real definition of literally)).

As it turns out many of the “family values” conservatives who came to power riding the tea party wave and a growing anti-establishment sentiment (see Donald Trump (also just mentioned here for the purpose of clicks(hey, I gotta eat)) apparently misunderstand the meaning of the word bipartisanship. They apparently associate the prefix “bi” with bisexuals and homosexuality and as such any politician seen participating in bipartisanship becomes cannon fodder for the uber (we used that word because it sounds Hitlery) right wing radio firing squad and is sure to have a primary challenger when it’s reelection time.

Efforts to educate these voters have proven completely ineffective, in fact they are now lobbying the NFL to eliminate “bye weeks.”

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