Terrorists Struggling to Maintain Their Hatred of America as Freedoms Erode

1280px-pflp-group-1969A recent poll of various anti-American terrorists groups reveals that many Jihadists are losing their seething hatred for the west as freedoms, the reason they hated America in the first place, quickly erode.

In fact when asked “I think the United States government is right to listen in on every cell phone conversation of its citizens and to work on ways to make small home appliances like televisions and microwaves into spy tools” nearly 9 out of 10 of the sworn enemies of the United States checked the “strongly disagree” box.

“I’m really struggling to find my hatred for these poor people who are governed by such monsters.” – Terrorist

One of the more grizzled terrorists spoke to us anonymously, “We used to be envious of the west and their decadent freedoms. They were in our face, we hated them for it! Everyone could vote, now they close up all the polling stations in poor neighborhoods and they take away the right to vote for felons who were arrested for growing plants – can you imagine being arrested for growing a plant?! I pity people living under such tyranny! Have these American dogs even considered that Trump’s wall could be to keep them in? Even companies like WalMart squash any unionization efforts and the government allows it. So now you’ve got millions of these low wage slaves working at rates so low that even non-WalMart customers are forced to subsidize it with their tax money. Imagine, non-WalMart customers are paying the biggest employer in the country’s workers so they can make ends meet. This is crazy – and I considered blowing myself up on several occasions for less!  And discrimination is everywhere! The congress has introduced a bill that would allow employers to genetically test employees! This is Star Trek, shit, man. I mean, I’m really struggling to find my hatred for these poor people who are governed by such monsters.”





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