Scientists at NASA’s Jet Propulsion Laboratory raucously cheered following the successful launch of their first of many microscopic probes meant to enter the ear canals of the President and his cabinet searching for some kind of extraterrestrial mind eating symbiotic space monster feeding off his grey matter.
Lead engineer Thomm Kincaid briefed the press, “We’ve got our finest people working day and night to decipher the rhyme or reason for the mind boggling behavior of the President. We’ve calculated every single theoretical probability including the fact we may be the victims of some kind of time or dimensional traveling pranksters, that we are living in some kind of computer simulation that has crashed or caught a malicious virus, that we may in fact be crazy and the President may actually be sane and we’ve settled on the only logical conclusion: we’re being visited by microscopic mind controlling aliens that have infected the president. That brings us to today’s launch of the WT45-F.”
The probe will remain in low earth orbit circling the globe until it calculates the appropriate reentry trajectory over Washington D.C., enter the atmosphere, deploy a deceleration chute for final approach, cut the chute and enter the President’s ear. The probe will then turn on its sensors and scan for the signs of foreign life within the furtherest depths of President Trump’s mind where it hopes to potentially find the secrets of life.