The Fight For Fifteen reached Subway restaurants earlier today when some “progressive” employees made the outrageous demand that the fast food giant actually exchange money commensurate with their time for their services!
Fortunately the pedophile enabling sandwich shop opted to invite the loser slackers into a negotiations meeting where the ne’er do wells fell into a trap door and were ground up into an affordable slurry of chicken parts, soy protein and human flesh! The pressed and steamed mash is formed into roughly the shape of a chicken breast and will pass most DNA tests. Best of all it will keep the cost of nearly a foot of food under $5 bucks while also undermining the very fabric of American society as hundreds of thousands of employees struggle to make ends meet slapping the cheaply made “food” together for you at a price you can afford. That is afford in the moment, you’ll pay for later in food and housing assistance for the employees… and your soul!