Trump Fires Punxsutawney Phil, Installs Blind Mole

groundhogday2005It wasn’t a happy Groundhog’s Day for the beloved weather forecasting rodent Punxsutawney Phil. The Philadelphia-based groundhog saw his shadow this morning which means a long winter, 6 more weeks if you believe area folklore.

Donald Trump, however, was not satisfied with the verdict and promptly fired Phil and replaced him with a mole named Goober according to our friends at Weather Channel Classic, a division of C-SPAN Classic. Punxsutawney Goober emerged an hour later and did not see his shadow. In fact, Goober didn’t see anything as star-nosed moles are all blind.

Looking for some clothing to get through 6 more weeks of nuclear winter? Check out our “Statue of Liberty Resist” shirt. 25% of all proceeds go to the ACLU because… well, they’ve been busy.

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