President-elect Donald Trump promised to “drain the swamp” which quickly became a catchphrase on the campaign trail regardless of the environmental hazards of actually draining a swamp.An environmentally conscious citizen sent Donald Trump two DVDs along with an impassioned letter referencing how the removal of swamp land made the floods following Hurricane Katrina worse in an effort to appeal to the Donald to spare the swamp.
This concerned swamp citizen was once known as Dr. Alec Holland but you may know him from the swamps of Louisiana where he lives now as the humanoid, swamp monster hybrid known simply as The Swamp Thing. Our sources within the Trump camp say the Donald opted to watch the second Swamp Thing film because of his preference for Heather Locklear over Adrienne Barbeau. The New York city born and raised Trump was fascinated by the swamp’s connection to the earth’s ecosystem and scheduled a flight to meet with Dr. Holland.
Reporters were not present but insiders say Trump came to the conclusion that although the swamp is imperfect and isn’t suitable for building skyscrapers it serves a unique purpose in the ecosystem. It’s as if until America comes up with something better we should settle for a swamp, a “lesser of two evils” rather than just doing something crazy and regrettable in a fit of anger. Donald will be sworn in on January 20th and perhaps he has a soft spot for the swamp after all.