Trump Appoints Mall Santa Director of the National Security Agency

donald-trump-caused-a-spectacle-and-shook-hands-with-a-man-dressed-as-santa-claus-during-a-golf-tournamentThe cabinet of President-Elect Donald J. Trump is starting to take shape as the inauguration quickly approaches.

Trump has made several controversial choices recently like Linda McMahon of the WWE to be head of the Small Business Administration, the Bizarro version of Al Gore, Scott Pruitt, to lead the EPA, Ben Carson to spearhead HUD and presumably NASA’s belt buckle initiatives and Betsy DeVos to ruin education and a man nicknamed Mad Dog, a former senior military officer who somehow was allowed to lead operations in the Middle East for years to sit in the War Room. However, his NSA choice is one of the most shocking yet, Adam Northrup, a part-time Santa from Frankenmuth, Michigan.

We asked Trump about the unusual selection when he spoke to Drink the Press in an interview that will air Sunday and he was adamant that Northrup was a perfect candidate for the National Security Agency because “he knows when these Mexicans have been naughty and when they’ve been nice so he will be terrific on deportation. He also knows when the Muslim sleeper cells are sleeping and he knows when they’re awake. So they’d better be good or they’ll get nuked. No more worries about for the patriot act getting repealed or tattletales like Edward Snowden. Once a year he visits every home in America and checks to make sure they’re not up to any funny business. I mean, this Santa technology is going to save Americans so much money it’s going to make your head spin.”

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