PartyStraw to Filter Trace Narcotics Out of Rivers and Streams Shatters Kickstarter Record

partystraw“PartyStraw” the controversial Kickstarter campaign aimed at millennial campers has just closed. The device that promises to filter various narcotic drugs which make it into our water supply has surpassed the Pebble Time as the all time highest funded Kickstarter and has gone into production. The first units are scheduled to ship next week.

The PartyStraw uses technology similar to the LifeStraw, a drinking straw that filters clean drinking water from any source, in reverse. American rivers, streams and creeks are teeming with trace levels of untapped cocaine, anti-depressants, attention deficit disorder amphetamines, heroin and various boner drugs. The reasons our waters are contaminated are numerous – most often these inebriants escape through urine, unprocessed by overtaxed Western livers, some is flushed down the toilet by paranoid junkies on weeklong benders and some simply is dissolved by rain or show only to make its way into our runoffs and wastewater. These expensive toxins are desirable to bored campers, hobos and forrest ravers but are currently wasted getting fish all fucked up… until now! Now they can be liberated with the PartyStraw.

Partystraw starts at $79.95 but unless you funded the initial Kickstarter you shouldn’t expect yours to arrive in time for the Holiday.

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