Breaking News: Fidel Castro Literally Can’t Even

Beloved Cuban dictator and sworn enemy of the United States Fidel Castro just couldn’t with all this sometime on Friday. 

Castro is said to have stopped even-ing sometime late on November 25th. The excitement from Netflix’s new Gilmore Girls episodes are said to have been a factor. Raul Castro said Fidel is just happy to have outlived Capitalism and the United States by more than two weeks. We will have more on this story as we learn more about how death’s cold embrace took the former leader.

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