Navy Sends Newest Warship to Detroit-Canada Border as Election Nears

ussdetroit2The newest Freedom class naval littoral class warship, the USS Detroit, arrived in Detroit today to help prevent American citizens from defecting to nearby Windsor, Ontario Canada in the event of civil unrest following the November 8th election.

Ray Mabus, secretary of the Navy, told This Should Be the News, “Many Americans don’t realize that Detroit hosts the busiest international border in North America, the Ambassador Bridge, the city also has a tunnel running beneath the Detroit River that connects it to the relatively sane country of Canada. This narrow, and I should add swimmable, body of water can easily be crossed by a small boat, a strong swimmer or if it is cold enough by simply walking across the frozen river.

We recognize that citizens are restless. The Democrats and Republicans are represented by candidates who are universally unliked… even by their supporters and either of the two most likely outcomes of the 2016 election could lead to riots and mass migration to more stable countries.

“Will markets crash? Will there be martial law? Will people grab their neighbors by their pussy or penis? We just can’t be sure but we can be prepared. If the citizens of Metro Detroit try to flee to the shores of nearby Windsor, Ontario and escape certain death or enslavement at the hands of a newly elected American tyrant we want to be well positioned to engage these defectors with great prejudice. Should they try and escape the crew of the USS Detroit has orders to shoot at will. This nimble vessel is perfect for maneuvers against small, unarmed civilian craft.”


The USS Freedom Class warship that will murder Metro Detroiters who try and escape the freedom of America as they flee to nearby Canada.

The USS Detroit arrived in the port of Detroit on the 14th of October and will be officially commissioned on the 22nd.

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