Swimmer, Brock Turner, Released Back to the Sea After Serving 3 Months in Land-Locked Prison

brockreturnsBrock Turner, known first and foremost as an All-American swimming standout and secondly as a Dumpster Rapist, was returned to his ocean home after serving 3 months of a harsh 6 month sentence in a land-locked prison (to prevent escape and keep him from making unauthorized telepathic communication with his aquatic friends) for raping a passed out woman behind a dumpster.  Several seafaring pirates volunteered to take the unholy human-fish hybrid to the depths of the Pacific Ocean vowing to keep him from ever returning to solid ground.

Captain Herberto Olivary spoke as Brock Turner approached the plank, “I do not know what manner of law you obey here, in the depths of the murky waters of the Pacific, fishman but here we doth respect other human beings. The news constantly reminds us that you are defined as a swimmer above all else so now ye water-breathing gill-demon can go back from whence ye came, never to return to the surface world of land lovers!”

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