Trump Wants Putin to Find Deleted Emails, Missing Socks and “Other Stuff”

TrumpPutinKeysDonald J. Trump, the Republican presidential nominee, said earlier today “Russia, if you’re listening, I hope you’re able to find the 30,000 emails that are missing. Also, if you could find my keys to the Trump Taj Garage that would be great.”

We reached out to the Russian consulate to get a comment and they reassured us that Vladimir Putin is not interested in hacking the DNC’s emails, getting involved in democratic party infighting over Bernie Sanders and Hillary Clinton, Debbie Wasserman-Schultz nor is the president interested in going through Mr. Trump’s laundry, couch cushions, or under his car seat.

The Russian denial is hard to swallow after this story confirmed Melania’s involvement with the KGB and Putin.

In other, completely unrelated news John Hinkley Jr, the man who attempted to murder Ronald Reagan will be paroled soon.

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