Hillary Clinton has stunned pundits inside the D.C. Beltway by announcing to the nation that she has selected moderate Connecticut Republican and former Democrat Party vice presidential candidate, Joe Leiberman, as her running mate.
Clinton told the press, “Last night we saw Donald Trump play hard and fast with facts and truth by making wild claims and accusations against my character. The nation’s fact checkers are still dizzy in the wake of his charismatic bombardment of bullshit. Naturally I thought that the perfect response to this slick snake oil showbiz salesman was to counter his attacks with listening, nodding, lock box talk, tedious statistics and the most milquetoast pseudo-Republican, former neo-liberal running mate I could find to inject some Lawrence Welk-level energy into my campaign!
And who better than Jumpin’ Joe Leiberman? His presence will no doubt help us win over the dozens of Republican voters who would ever consider voting for me and hate Trump’s bombast. There must be at least 33 such registered voters and the real bonus is we get finally move on past the primaries by really stomping out that Bern younger voters actually felt could catch fire within our system.”