Bland, Corporate Rock Star Bravely Endorses Bland, Corporate Candidate!

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What happens when vapid, commercial rock meets uninspired corporate politics? Well,  the Hollywood Reporter says Jon Bon Jovi comes out in support of Hillary Clinton – that’s what!

“She is a lot like my band, we know our audience is firmly stuck in the past and wants the tired, old hits and like her we aren’t interested in making music that is any better or more thoughtful than what we made in the 80’s and the 90’s anyways.” – Jon Bon Jovi

Bon Jovi, the New Jersey born and white bread rockstar said, “I hope that soon we will be calling her Madame President. She is a lot like my band, we know our audience is firmly stuck in the past and wants the tired, old hits and like her we aren’t interested in making music that is any better or more thoughtful than what we made in the 80’s and the 90’s anyways.

“See, she isn’t going to try and make anything better than her and Bill’s hits of the 90’s and she isn’t going to upset the apple cart. Her Henry Kissinger style foreign policies are like our dated but still a hit at 2nd and 3rd weddings “Livin’ On a Prayer,” her position on reeling in Wall Street is like our serviceable tune “Little Runaway,” her time on the WalMart board of directors and Iraq war vote is like the time Richie [Sambora, guitarist] left the band and her flip flop on gay rights is kind of like “It’s My Life” – you’ll hate it at first but eventually you’ll come around and just accept that this is what you’re forced to listen to now. Besides, are you really going to listen to Nicki Minaj or vote for Donald Trump?”

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