Dr. Facebook Is Now Open!

dr facebookThe Big Medical doctors better watch out! Dr. Facebook is officially open for business. After years of beta testing (and perfecting) bad medical advice, hearsay, and anecdotal tips, Dr. Facebook is ready to help.

Dr. Facebook has been gathering all of your friend’s/family’s advice and stuffed it into one sleek artificial intelligence (AI) engine. The mandatory AI will intercept each medical question and return with the best bad advice yet!  From your uncle who means well, to your bestie who has ‘been through this’, all the way to a distant relative which you hardly know, Dr Facebook will soothe your anxiety. See some sample interactions below.

Carla: Anyone know what this rash is?
Dr. Facebook: Ouchie! That’s gross!
Dr. Facebook: Did you use the portapotty at Coachella again? lololol
Dr. Facebook: Looks like ‘contact dermatitis’ to me. Keep your skin clean and use an anti-itch ointment.  See a dermatologist if this persists.
Dr. Facebook: ^^^ NERD!! tl;dr

Rick: It feels like there’s an elephant on my chest, should I go to the doctor?
Dr. Facebook: You’re probably fine, you had that epic burrito last night, dude I told you…..
Dr. Facebook: I’ll call you later after work.
Dr. Facebook: Your heart chakra seems to be out alignment, I have some cypress oils for you.

 

Dr. Facebook will begin accepting copays in the latter half of 2016.

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