Billboard Says Vinyl Record Sales Down as CD Longboxes Surge with Millennials

longboxesBillboard magazine has announced that for the first time since the surprising resurgence in 2007 of old school vinyl records sales of the LP format have slipped as millennials search for a less mainstream music delivery format. Cassette tapes and 8 tracks were trending briefly until the most pointless packaging the record industry ever produced was rediscovered in the basement of a Sam Goody that was abandoned after Hurricane Andrew devastated South Florida in 1992. Hipsters saw how wasteful, ugly and pointless the cumbersome, top heavy longboxes were and instantly fell in love.


The thoughtful artist that designed this classic longbox was generous with the band’s logo and the plain font that reads “RIDE THE LIGHTNING!”

Shit rock supergroup grAVit8tonalwAVes have announced that they are releasing all their download codes inside a collector’s longbox that will be sold exclusively at their shitty shows. Look for other bands to follow suit with thumbdrives, 8-tracks, cassettes and other media sold in longboxes. At least until they become popular again and then they’ll move on to something even stupider.


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