The Heritage Foundation is encouraging Republicans to delay voting for Justice Antonin Scalia’s right wing successor to the Supreme Court of the United States while they work out the kinks in their Recombo DNA cloning laboratory.
Since Scalia died suddenly, and his will did not name an heir to his throne, the president is unfortunately left to his own judgement to select a justice as noted in the Constitution… presumably somewhere towards the back. However, since Obama has just entered the 37th month of his 48 month presidential term his eligibility to nominate someone is obviously in question. You don’t have to be a constitutional scholar to know the framers were clear when they implied that he should stop doing his job now, it’s just common sense. Even if it’s not mentioned anywhere in there… at all.
Ted Cruz chimed in on the campaign trail adding “We cannot allow this illegitimate president, born in Kenya, to divide the country further by doing something I do not approve of. He mustn’t be allowed! Mustn’t, mustn’t, mustn’t! Only when I am elected can we have an illegitimate president, born in Canada, select the Scalia clone child. The Junior Scalia should be 2 to 3 months old by the time of my inevitable inauguration and he will be ready to rule!”
Scientists for the Heritage Foundation think tank have had success making bubble-eyed dog boys recently and are hopeful they can engineer an age of eternal Supreme Court Justice appointments through a cloning-eugenics hybrid program.