Chipotle Outbreak Appears to be Over – CDC

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ATLANTA – The outbreak of Chipotle restaurants appears to be subsiding according to the CDC. “We’ve had no new openings of Chipotle restaurants in the past month.”, confirmed CDC spokesperson Aggie Usedly. “The existing restaurants are in containment mode and we’ve set up perimeters for the public’s protection.”

Not since Whole Foods cut a swath across the nation opening trendy stores from Maine to Malibu has a restaurant outbreak been so tenacious. “We’ve got a handle on Chipotle now.  We’re switching Sprouts and pressed juicers to ensure that they don’t get out of hand too.”, reported Aggie. She went on to say “Ever since Trader Joe’s got away from us in Los Angeles in the early 2000’s we’ve kept a watchful eye over hipster food.”

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