WASILLA, AK – Sarah Palin wasn’t just making news by endorsing presidential potty mouth Donald Trump this week; momma bear also stopped by Wasilla to bail out her boozy bae beating baby boy! Aww!
Palin says this is all just part of her whirlwind endorsement tour which started yesterday with endorsing presidential candidate Donald Trump and now this traveler’s check to get her son out of the pokey for allegedly punching and kicking his girlfriend. Later this week she says she hopes to endorse Hungry Man fried chicken frozen TV dinners for a Swason promotion at an area Piggly Wiggly, another candidate or two for president, introduce Punxsutawney Phil at a Cracker Barrel opening and write a long winded, slightly racist but ultimately well meaning 4 star Yelp review of a nail salon in Zionsville, IN.
She says she hopes to bring her son, Track (yes, that’s his name), along on the tour as soon as his probation officer will let him leave the state. That and Obama steps off of his bootstraps so he can pull himself up and stop beating his girlfriend.