RNC chairman Reince Priebus proudly took the stage following the Fox Business Channel’s Republican presidential debate to surprise the media with a new logo for the Grand Old Party!
Reince spoke briefly “We’re entering a new golden age for the Grand Old Party where blind reactionary aggression, displays of dominance, walled off territoriality and ritualistic displays of power drive our new generations of leaders forward; now we have a logo that represents the future of the party! The elephant in the room is dead! Long live the lizard in the room!
We can no longer allow the democrat party to exist. They elect femine male leaders and masculine female leaders that listen to facts, scientists and military advisors but worst of all they use reason and logic to guide their actions. These demonic democrats offer boring mamby pamby ‘solutions’ that work over a long period of time but we offer reactions that feel good in the now and allow the future generations pay… if there even is a future after the Holy Rapture!
So no, we don’t bow to foreign leaders, we urinate on them, marking our scent so that other leaders know the smell of our powerful musk! We turn foreign lands of sand into glass over misunderstandings in childish international dick measuring contests. We ignore our roads and bridges and build walls. We see a Muslim do something awful, we hate all Muslims. If the environment dares to change on us we choke it out with our mighty exhaust! That’s leadership! That’s strength! The only real power is physicality and loud talking!
If our woman gives birth to a child who we fear could grow up to be the dominate head of the house we eat that child! If we stub our toe we say ‘I meant to do that’ and if we accidentally invade a country for the wrong reasons we do not withdraw at the twentieth set back or the first trillion dollars wasted. That would let the soldiers we haven’t gotten killed yet down… no, we double our efforts and send twice as many of our children into the firefight! We are the brazen minority and we are here to rule despite the will of the majority!”