Tim Tebow Hosting 200+ Proms for Disabled So He Can Make Sure They Don’t Dance Too Close

tebow2Former NFL quarterback, current SEC Network analyst and virgin, Tim Tebow, is planning to host more than 200 proms for people with special needs in 48 states and 8 different countries over 2016.

Each prom will have it’s own unique king and queen but Tebow will chaperone each and every one.  The charity Night to Shine will offer attendees a chance to celebrate a prom of their own. So long as they don’t dance too close. “We want these kids to have a great time but just not too great. No hanky-panky. No close dancing. No hotel parties afterwards. No necking in the car. All corsages must be attached with Velcro and not be of the slip-on-the-wrist variety as that’s far too suggestive. Boutonnieres may be snapped on but not pinned on as a needle going through thread may give these hormonal prom goers ideas.”, Tebow told us.

The theme for this year is “Enchantment Under the Crystal Clear Sea With Water So Crystal Clear God Can Still See What You’re Up Too So No Grab Ass, You Two.”

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