Trump Hints at All Insult Comic Presidential Cabinet

trumpcabinet2Donald Trump wasted no time one-upping reports Democratic presidential hopeful Bernie Sanders was hinting that he’d select senator Elizabeth Warren as a potential running mate. The ink was still wet on the headlines when he started name dropping potential cabinet members to Chuck Todd on NBC’s Meet the Press.

Moderator Todd asked Donald Trump how he would handle the Syrian immigrant crisis and Trump responded by saying he would hire the right people. When asked how he would respond to a nuclear threat from North Korea and Trump responded, yet again, by saying he would hire the smartest people. When asked how he would handle replacing ObamaCare Trump responded by saying he would hire the brightest people.  The visibly irritated moderator pressed further and asked Trump who exactly these “people” were and that’s when Trump began to name drop.

“Frankly, Chuck, I’ve already been talking to some really great minds with huge ideas for the campaign. Don Rickles has been just great to work with. He’s helped me really emasculate Jeb Bush at the debates and Triumph the Insult Comic Dog gave me the bit about the crippled reporter. I could see those two having positions within a Trump cabinet. Lisa Lampanelli has really helped me with the blacks, the Dice Man told me to go after Cruz for being born in Canada. Jeffrey Ross has been very generous with dick jokes about Bill Clinton and Kathy Griffin has been very wise. Very wise. She told me to ease up on the gays and I’ve been doing that so far.

The quality of these people is outstanding and I love having them around. I could see them all in Trump cabinet positions. Don Rickles, here’s a guy who knows so much about every nationality, religion and race on earth. He would be a perfect Secretary of State. He could go into China and do his ‘ching chang, bing bang’ bit with his fingers pulling his eyes tight and really relate to them. They’d love him and he’d cut some really, really tremendous trade deals for us. I can see Lisa Lampanelli heading up health and human services. Ya know, she’s had sex with all sorts of blacks and knows how to talk them into wearing condoms which is great. Dice just exudes this tough guy exterior but he’s really a sweetheart and that’s what you need in a Secretary of Defense. Someone who says to North Korea and Iran ‘hickory dickery dock, clean up your act or ba-da-ding ba-da-boom, we’ll blow up several city blocks.’ As far as Triumph the Insult Comic Dog I think that Trump voters want a vice president who would offer the same kind of tenacity and style as me if, god forbid, something were to happen to me. He’s a natural fit to step right into my shoes. He could just as easily continue hosting The Apprentice, giving inflammatory but ultimately empty and meaningless soundbites to the media, presidenting, chasing tail, banging Melania, he’s really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really,great.”

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One response to “Trump Hints at All Insult Comic Presidential Cabinet

  1. Pingback: Words Hurt – University of Michigan First to Ban Adjectives on Campus | This Should Be The News·

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