WASHINGTON – President Obama’s tearful speech explaining the executive actions he would be taking to try and suppress gun violence has everyone from political pundits to body language experts reading between the lines of the Commander in Chief’s words and behavior.
One field of study that has been ignored thus far is phrenology, the detailed study of the shape and size of someone’s cranium to determine their mental abilities, health and character so we called our friends at Fox News who put us in touch with their go-to on-air phrenologist, the published Dr. Ramon Rolinfinger. Using camera footage from several of the news networks covering the speech to get every possible angle and view of the president’s melon he went to work.
Dr. Rolinfinger explained his findings “Normally we touch someone’s head really good-like, it feels like you’re being handled by a really educated shampooist and we examine the lumps on your head and measure the balance of your head. We then use a scale of 1-12 to score your characteristics as accurately as any other psychology test available. 1-2 means that characteristic is either feeble or completely lacking, 7-8 are in balance and 11-12 are overwhelming and are liable to bury all the other characteristics.”
“So in my professional opinion Obama is a feckless, weak, limp wristed sissy boy based on his brow line and he hates America and he probably wasn’t even born here based on that lump behind his ear, he should be impeached based on a dent in his temples, he definitely wants to give Iran the bomb to destroy the Jews based on his cheekbones and is the devil incarnate based on the angle of his stupid ears.”
So there you have it. We pre-made this meme for you to share with your friends and warn them about this president gone wild!