NEW YORK – Donald Trump was showing off his presidential foreign policy skills when he blasted the North Korean regime following Kim Jong-un’s claims that a 5.1 magnitude ‘earthquake bomb’ was detonated. “I could have created a huge 10 or 15 magnitude earthquake bomb on my own very easily, it’s not hard to do if you get the best people. These Koreans are a bunch of losers!”, Trump said.
“I’ve seen their pathetic earthquake bomb, it’s not good, I’m not impressed. It’s a very small, low energy bomb”, Trump added. “I’ve got 200 scientists working for me right now, they are the very best bomb people in science, they are building a magnitude 1,000 earthquake bomb. For me? It’s not a big deal, they said it would be done by Friday and I said I want it done by Thursday! You know what they said to me? No problem, Mr. Trump” Trump boasted.
Donald Trump is not normally known for his aptitude in foreign policy or his knowledge of tectonic science but we will make sure to report on his every cough, hiccup, utterance or soundbite in case he builds an earthquake bomb in his spare time.