Uncharismatic Green Party Senator Parades Bowl of Melted Ice to Prove It’s Unseasonably Warm


It’s so warm right now water left outside is in a liquid state.

WASHINGTON D.C. – Say what you will about Republicans but they do understand manipulating the media with loaded, catchy soundbites and the theater of politics better than their Democratic counterparts. 

Nothing quite exemplifies this better than Senator (R-OK) James Inhofe’s dramatic snowball revelation before the Senate Chamber.  Naturally, anyone with even the most rudimentary understanding of science and weather knows that a snowball in spring does not discredit decades of concrete evidence, historical data and thousands of peer reviewed research papers on the topic. However, the average American does not have even a rudimentary understanding of science and the effectiveness of his showmanship speaks directly to his mouth-breathing, knuckle dragging constituents.

Enter Green Party Senator, Doug Woodbush (I-ME). He was furious when he saw all the attention and Tea Party email chain letters Inhofe’s outrageous prop gained and swore that he would one-up the rival Senator’s farce as soon as he had the opportunity. With record high winter temperatures this weekend Woodbush felt it was time to unleash his own clever stunt example of climate change in action.

Unfortunately, the milquetoast, even by Washington liberal standards, senator’s big reveal landed with more of a thud than a splash. Ironic because what was under the white sheet on the cart that he rolled onto the floor was, indeed, just a bowl of water. His point was that because temperatures are high, water is in liquid form and that is evidence it is warm. Warmer. Than normal.


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