Obama is Coming for Your Right to Shoot Fire in a Theater – Wake Up!

fireA guest editorial by executive vice president of the National Rifle Association Wayne LaPierre 

First they came for my right to shout “fire” in a crowded theater but I said nothing because I didn’t want to shout fire in a crowded theater.

Next they came for my right to call in bomb threats to an abortion clinic but I said nothing… because I might incriminate myself.

Now they’re coming to take that same kind of thoughtful interpretation of the Bill of Rights that they used on the first amendment and apply it to my precious second amendment. Well, that makes me frothing mad (I tend to froth quite a bit) and I’m ready to shout.

Ready to shout “fire” in the court of public opinion that is. I will point my figurative (honest, don’t read too much into that, fellow NRA members 😉 )  gun of FREEDOM at King Obama and call him out for having the gall to want to use reason, science and nuance to debate complicated issues. Fortunately these complicated issues are easy targets for me and my group to boil down into a simple, stupid soundbite our supporters can chew up and bark back at their spineless congressperson, making them non-starters. Again.

We’ve been through this fight before and we will fight it again. It used to make me weary and it was such a burden for me personally when one of these tragedies would happen and I’d have to defend our position yet again. Each “incident” victimized me again…  It was getting hard to go on. However, as a share holder in many arms manufacturers I’ve found that the predictable surge of gun purchases following an “incident” helps me stay the course and continue fighting the good-for-my-pocket fight.

Could I live with a 10 round limit? Probably. Would I actually prefer a world where people on the no-fly list are barred from purchasing guns or require additional screening? I’ll never tell. See, there can be no quarter in this battle, compromise is the enemy of the all mighty shareholder and his all mighty mission to accumulate the most all mighty dollars. So long as there’s money to be piled up, I’m frankly okay with the bodies piling up.

So, dear reader, if you’re a good guy I implore you to go out and buy a gun today, buy one for every member of your family. Shootings are like an unavoidable lottery you don’t know when you’ll be next and so long as I’m alive and there’s money to be made the only insurance is a gun of your own.

 

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