We are going to be featuring some hot new Holiday toys just in time for the Christmas shopping season starting with this new take on a classic – the Ouija board!
The Ouija board has been updated with emojis so that it will appeal to both youngsters who are curious about death, the afterlife and summoning dark powers from beyond the grave and to lost souls in transition that are unable to read or write making a traditional Ouija board too embarrassing to communicate their demonic orders to Ouija players.
This stupid Kickstarter failed to get off the ground but had this idea first so I, I mean Hasbro, felt compelled to mention it before releasing this new, improved variation. Hasbro spokesman Kenneth Pietorpan said this of the new board “we’re really excited that this toy is going to open up the underworld of unholy demons, wraiths and specters with a remedial grasp of the English language to communicate with our youth. We’re already getting lots of feedback from our test groups. The boards are telling kids to kill their parents, listen to Twisted Sister, worship Satan and impeach Obama in record time.
These messages from the netherworld used to take several minutes to cross over into the land of the living but with this new board they are loud in clear with fewer characters than ever before. For instance, in years past it would take hours just to get Lizzie Borden to spell her name but now you can have an interview with the whole Doner Party in an hour or so!”