Netflix announced today that it’s deal to stream movies from the Criterion Collection will expire at the end of the month as the two companies failed to come to terms. However, all is not lost for the Netflix and Chill crowd as Netflix announced that it will be adding exciting content from Gas Station TV that’s otherwise only available while you fill your car’s tank with gasoline.
Netflix spokesman Thomm Garmondd spoke to us at the announcement “Netflix subscribers can now catch up with all the CNN, Headline News, Bloomberg TV, ESPN and Cartoon Network programming you’ve missed over the past 5 years in easily digestible 30 second blocks.
We’re pretty sure we’ve got our finger on the pulse of our core consumer, the millennial, and they’ve told us that they don’t want to watch a black and white art house movie with subtitles because it means they can’t multitask while watching. Simply put if you’re busy reading subtitles AND watching a movie how are you supposed to play a game on your iPad or catch up on Facebook or Snapchat? 5-10 seconds of Gas Station TV content is perfect for these viewers. You might not have time to watch the top 5 plays of the night but can watch just the best single play followed by an ad from Gas Station TV that reminds you that we just ‘have to be smart about’ fossil fuels and shale and use more faster.
And if fans of those artsy-fartsy foreign films still want to read while they’re watching TV we’ve got Bloomberg reruns – they put words and shit all over the fucking screen, read your heart out, hipster.”