We’re just one month away from the premier of the most anticipated film since the groundbreaking Phantom Menace hit theaters. Yet, the Motion Picture Association of America has yet to rate the film and that has fans are speculating if Luke Skywalker will do something to change the rating from a PG or PG-13 like drop a space F-Bomb on the Empire or flash his little lightsaber from under his Jedi Master robes to upset the ratings board!
What if he visits a camping site to stalk and kill a bunch of space teenagers like in Friday the 13th!? That would be crazy and I’m sure there’s already several crackpot fan theory videos somewhere on the internet to explain how they’d be crazy not to do it! Perhaps Princess Leia Organa is haunted by her time as Jabba’s presumed sex slave and there are graphic flashbacks to slug on human intercourse on the pleasure barge. Chewbacca is virtually naked save for his bandolier, perhaps the MPAA has finally caught on and wants to puts some space pants over his Wookie bits.
And Star Wars fans are salivating for a more gritty film after Samuel L Jackson’s Mace Windu character managed to go through two films without a single MF’er or reference to space snakes on his MF’ing spaceship. Maybe Luke is going to clone Jar Jar Binks in a graphic Frankenstein type scene to complete Jar Jar’s turn to the dark side so they can rule the galaxy together with fart jokes and an iron, robotic fist! Only one thing is clear if you read this far you may need a Star Wars intervention!
May the Force be with you, always. Except when you have important stuff to do, then stop thinking about the Force.