George W Bush “Don’t Quote Me but I’m Pretty Sure I Wasn’t President on 9/11”

1280px-George_W._Bush_speaks_at_Coast_Guard_commencementDALLAS, TX – Jeb Bush, former Florida Governor, Presidential candidate and brother of the 43rd President of the United States has found himself defending the legacy of his brother’s time in office as he trades verbal blows with Donald Trump on the campaign trail. “My brother kept us safe” Jeb has declared to which Trump pointed out that 9/11 happened while President GW Bush was in office.No historians disagree with this being the appropriate timeline nor do they dispute that Bush was indeed the Commander in Chief on September 11th, 2001. However, there is one important player in the whole story of 9/11 who isn’t so sure – namely, George W. Bush, himself.who says he can say with “99% centrical certiforce” that he was in the Texas Air National Guard “doing kamikaze shots with the fellas.”

Bush was, of course, in the Texas Air National Guard but that was during the Vietnam conflict and even then it is widely reported that he was AWOL for weeks at a time but Bush persists “I would have loved to have gone and fight those battles in Iraq but we were never deployed unfortunately so I just did whatever Dick [Cheney] told me to do. He said I needed to dress up like Captain America and punch a guy dressed like Saddam Hussein in the face at pep rallies…  at least that’s how I recall it. I’m pretty sure it’s true because I know my wool super suits were scratchy…  that I’m positive of.”

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