WASHINGTON, D.C. – Inspired by the latest end days scare being spouted on social media, this time by the high tech sounding eBible Fellowship, that the world is coming to an abrupt end outgoing House Speaker John Boehner put up for vote that passed with nearly unanimous support from both parties. The controversial bill states that if you are a wacky cult leader who tries to convince gullible people that the world is going to end and it doesn’t that you have to be put to death in a public square. If you share a post that perpetuates this hysteria and the world does not end all of your friends are legally required to punch you in your ignorant stomach.
President Obama said he will fast track signing the bill into law as soon as it passes the Senate later today as is expected. Obama added “I look forward to watching the public eSlaughter of this eBible eCharleton.”