WASHINGTON, D.C. – Earlier this morning during a press conference about Pope Francis’ upcoming first visit to the United States in the Rose Garden President Obama was asked by a BBC reporter if he had any statements about David Cameron’s embarrassing #PigGate scandal.
The president’s expression became more severe as he considered the question. “As a Kenyan Muslim who keeps a Halal diet and obeys Sharia Law I find the accusations reprehensible. Cameron is an infidel and that western lapdog should be stoned in the town square. I would never even touch the skin of a swine let alone subject myself to the humiliation of genital contact with one. Allah Bless America and Praise be to Allah.”