BREAKING NEWS, LOS ANGELES – Southern California is rebuilding after a record-breaking .25 inches of sky water today. “We haven’t seen this type of sky water in months, I’m not exactly sure what we should be doing at this point”, Mayor Eric Garcetti stated during an emergency meeting with reporters. “We will be carefully considering overreacting in many ways, including but not limited to evacuating to Arizona, deploying the SoCalbrella that has been in development at USC for 26 years, and declaring martial law.”
City leaders warned that “sky water” can possibly have disastrous effects and cautioned people not to touch it and call local first responders repeatedly if you come into contact with it.
Motorists were caught unaware today and were cautioned to consult the owners manuals of their cars to engage the thin strips of rubber that can possibly wipe away the sky water from their windshield. Other driving tips included not driving, and turning on your headlights.