WALL STREET – The Heritage Foundation and the RNC coordinated to throw what they hope will be a new end-of-summer tradition – a parade honoring those most patriotic and under-appreciated American citizens, the true heroes of Labor Day – the job creators!
The parade was televised live on Fox News with the whole Fox and Friends cast just beaming with pride as they described the star-spangled action. The sky over Wall Street was awash with a generous amount of streamers and ticker tape that nearly blocked out the hot afternoon sun. Businessmen in well-tailored suits paraded before a sparse but adoring crowd consisting of mostly the unemployed, their resumes in hand, and bank employees who were required to attend. The rest of the potential crowd was unfortunately unable to attend due to their commitments at their current jobs.
“For too long Labor Day has been about the American worker but, really, what has he or she ever done that’s so great? Post 9/11 the men and women of the United States Armed Services commandeered the Holiday but now it’s time to refocus what truly makes America great – the CEOs of our largest and most powerful corporations.” said Reagan Henderson, spokesman for the Heritage Foundation. “Rosie the riveter? She’s no Carly Fiorina! You think John Henry is a powerful man? Pish posh! I’ll take Monty Burns… He’s got real power!”