FBI Raid Home of Mayor McCheese on Suspicion of Veal Porn

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McDONALDLAND – The news surrounding fast food mascots is about to get worse as we learned today that the popular McDonaldland politician, Mayor McCheese, has been caught with illegal images on his home computer. Early Thursday afternoon FBI officials burst down the door of the retired mayor who only recently left office due to exhausting term limits. The FBI emerged after an hour or so in the home where McCheese was lead out of the home, his giant hamburger head covered by an ill-fitting towel, his humanoid hands in handcuffs. This scene is all too familiar after awkward, creepy smile sporting Jared Fogle was busted for distributing child pornography and paying for sex with minors.

McCheese is accused of participating in a ring of pornographers trading pictures of veal. The disturbing images portray veal in all manner of undress – raw, uncooked underage veal, young beef completely nude chewing on cud as well as some more professional pin-up style photos which are sexually graphic in nature.

McCheese’s neighbor, the Hamburgler, spoke exclusively to TSBtNews “at first when I saw all those cars I fucking thought they were coming for me, ya know? Robbie robble. Everyone knows I’ve had some issues with addiction and eating disorders, robble robble, which lead me to a wasted life of crime but I’m working through it thanks to our lord and savior Jesus Christ and shit, ya know? Robbie robble. Anyways, he was always a good neighbor, kept a neat lawn, never had an issue but it just goes to show, robble robble, ya never really know anyone like you think you do. Dark, sad shit. Robble robble. Robble fucking robble.”

The FBI declined to discuss this ongoing investigation but McDonaldland sources say that Birdie is worried about Office Big Mac. Birdie was could not be reached and was unavailable for comment.

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One response to “FBI Raid Home of Mayor McCheese on Suspicion of Veal Porn

  1. Pingback: Hamburger Helper Mascot Arrested at Adult Movie Theater | This Should Be The News·

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