After Lackluster Debate Trump Says “I Will Grant One Magic Wish a Day if Elected”

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NEW YORK – Donald Trump is in spin mode after a lackluster showing at the August 6th Fox News Debate and the Twitter battle with Megyn Kelly that followed. Trump, never one to miss an opportunity to capitalize on publicity, good or bad, called a press conference where he said “News outlets have said terrible things about me and my business dealings but none ever mention and, naturally, I’ve never bragged about it but I’m a tremendous, magical genie with fabulous powers. In fact, I’ve lived inside some of the most exclusive, beautiful bottles in history.”

“Further, if elected I will grant one American per day the greatest, classiest, most fantastic, unbelievable genie wish, and I know several genies, they all think I’m a really really great genie.”

“A million dollars? Done. You want world peace? Trump Genie will give you so much world peace it’ll make you puke. Beautiful women at your beck and call? Boom. Now you’re a judge for the very classy and prestigious Miss Universe pageant and I’ll tell them all you’re the lead singer of Maroon 2 or whatever.”

Trump says that one American, if they voted for him, will be selected everyday starting on the day he is sworn in and “Secret service men will arrive with my disembodied head in a very tasteful, beautifully decorated, probably too nice for your home but, hey, whatever, box and that will be placed on your mantle and you can summon me and I will grant your wish. After that I go back to D.C. aboard Air Force Trump Is #1 to do some world class presidenting.”

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One response to “After Lackluster Debate Trump Says “I Will Grant One Magic Wish a Day if Elected”

  1. Pingback: After Lackluster Debate Trump Says “I Will Grant One Magic Wish a Day if Elected” | Brittius·

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