DISMISSED from JURY! Judge to Prez Bush “You Looked in Putin’s Eyes and Saw a Trustworthy Man?!”


DALLAS – The “Decider” was close to making one more big decision in his home state of Texas Wednesday after he was summoned to serve as a potential juror! “President Bush received his jury summons and reported for service this morning at the George Allen Courts Building in Dallas,” Freddy Ford, a Bush spokesman told us.

The president who appeared to be in good health and spirits when he arrived was asked some basic juror selection questions that apparently disqualified him. The lawyer who was responsible for asking the standard, prewritten preliminary questions had a rather amusing exchange with W when she asked questions like “are you a celebrity?” and “have you ever held elected office?” but the tone grew a bit darker as the questioning progressed “Have you ever been arrested?” to which the former POTUS replied “Three times, one for DUI” and the assembled crowd, apparently armed with poor long term memories audibly gasped.

Former President Bush, seen here, attempting to exit through a door to no where.

Former President Bush, seen here, having trouble selecting the right door to go through.

Things only got more uncomfortable for the former president as he was cross examined. “Did you believe that Saddam Hussein was harboring weapons of mass destruction and that he was an immediate threat to the safety of the United States?” to which the President replied “That’s what I was told.”

“When you looked Vladimir Putin in the eyes, you said, and I quote, ‘I looked the man in the eye. I found him to be very straightforward and trustworthy. We had a very good dialogue. I was able to get a sense of his soul; a man deeply committed to his country and the best interests of his country.” to which prompted the judge to blame his gavel down and declared the questioning a TKO.

Bush, to his credit, appeared completely unfazed by either the weight of his previous decisions, the hard nosed questioning or really to any of his immediate surroundings. He stopped and took some charming photos with people who probably didn’t vote for him. It’s unlikely that he’ll be summoned again, after all, there’s an old saying in Tennessee – I know it’s in Texas, probably in Tennessee – that says, fool me once, shame on – shame on you. Fool me – you can’t get fooled again.




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