Facebook Freakout! Creepy New Algorithm Can Accurately Tag Your Bare Feet In Sand!


MENLO PARK, CALIFORNIA – This weekend summer beach goers were seriously skeeved out when they uploaded and were auto tagged in the now obligatory, often disgusting and definitely annoying vacation photos of their nasty ass feet in either in water, sand or kicked up on a beachfront ottoman. These photos are intended as a not-so-subtle “fuck you, I’m on vacation and you’re staring at your phone like a poor person” message to the photographer’s “friends” back home.

In years past Facebook has demanded users upload a copy of their government issued ID and a full, nude body shot so their data crawlers could match the user with the ID’s owner. BUT GUESS WHAT?! Now, Facebook is using that information for it’s own dubious purposes!! No longer can you be free to post anonymous photos of your feet or buy pictures of someone else’s feet when you can’t afford a vacation and claim them as your own feet (more on that in a later article) because Facebook now knows what your tootsies look like and can identify them.

Security experts say the best way to thwart this feature is to wear closed toe footwear or to turn the feature off which is relatively easy to do. Ask the intern at your office to help with that.


One response to “Facebook Freakout! Creepy New Algorithm Can Accurately Tag Your Bare Feet In Sand!

  1. Pingback: The Week That Wasn’t – July 19th, 2015 | This Should Be The News·

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