7 International Toilet Papers You NEED to Try When You Get Around to It

131935For your consideration, here’s some top toilet tissues from around the globe. Liven things up at your home and try one or all of these in your family’s lavatory for an international experience without leaving the comfort of your own commode!


  • Lotus Bath Tissue – France; #1
    • The French are known for two things – their impeccable cleanliness and their strict practice of the Lotus Style of Kung Fu. This tissue honors those two traditions.
  • Crepto Toilet Tissue – Hungary; #1
    • This Hungarian tissue has a name that sounds like a Batman villain who spies on women changing.
  • Kittensoft (Ft. James UK) – Ireland; #1
    • Let’s face the facts. Kittens are soft. So soft that you can’t possibly try and tell me you’ve never thought of wiping your backside with one
  • Flora Tissue – Egypt; #1
    • Egypt’s #1 toilet tissue takes the crown by default. All the other Egyptian tissue manufacturers’ profits support ISIS.
  • Belana – #1; Bulgaria
    • Bulgarian bottoms have long benefited from Belana’s buttery smooth buttocks buffing.
  • Tenderly (Ft. James Europe – Italy; #2
    • Many think Alan Jackson’s song Softly and Tenderly is about his Christian faith but die hard fans know it’s really about his luxurious experience in the water closet of an Italian youth hostel. 
  •  Szilvia Tissue – Hungary; #2
    • Hungry is back on the list at #2 with their hot new entry into the crowded TP market.
  • Elle Bathroom Tissue – Greece; #1
    •  Grecian wallets may be a little sore during the bankruptcy but that doesn’t mean they need to suffer austerity in their hindquarters

Do you have a favorite toilet paper that you use on your hiney? Comment below or email us if you’re too ashamed. Happy evacuating!


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