Less sarcastically, the change is that United managed to win a game, destroying Rafael Benitez's soul in a 3-2 win, crowned by an injury-time victor from Alexis Sanchez.
Elsewhere, The Times report that Mourinho received a pre-match vote of confidence from Woodward via SMS, meaning they are the only people left in the world not using WhatsApp.
Juan Mata and Anthony Martial started the comeback, which happened inside the last 20 minutes, after Mourinho made a raft of substitutions, including swapping Eric Bailly for Mata after just 18 minutes.
"Marcus Rashford was sad on the pitch".
United's pressure did not relent and Sanchez responded to his own critics with a fine header from Young's deep cross from the right, prompting resounding chants in support of Mourinho from the buoyant home crowd.
Earlier in the week, The Daily Mirror had published a report that Jose Mourinho's job depending on a victory against Newcastle United this afternoon, and they did exactly that in the 90th (final) minute of the game.
It leaves United closer to the relegation zone than Premier League leaders and looking to avoid going five successive matches without a win for just the second time this century. Kenedy has completed 11 take-ons in the Premier League this season, more than twice the total managed by any teammate.
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"I think I'm furious", he said on Sky Sports after a lengthy pause.
Zidane would likely be a popular choice given his incredible European success at Madrid, and the eye-catching brand of football he had the Spanish giants playing, a stark contrast to the pragmatic style United fans have become accustomed to under Mourinho.
Manchester United fans certainly saw the irony of those three players combining to potentially save Jose Mourinho's job and they took to social media to express their feelings.
"They gave everything, and I don't want to say we were lucky because we fought so much for that, but I think the boys, they deserve it, even if the result ends with a 2-2", Mourinho said. I think, to be honest with you, I'm furious.
Mourinho added: "As a friend of mine was saying to me this morning, if tomorrow rains in London it's my fault". It's my life, it's a life I love, it's a life I worked since I was a kid.
"He is not playing especially well, in some periods, but, when the team doesn't play especially well, it's hard for players individually to perform well".